Admin

Posted by

Todd Parker Todd Parker
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Share

Todd Parker 02-10-2016

Rate this item
(0 votes)

(Editor's note: Since Mr. Parker was busy with this week's cover story, we thought we might share an old Valentine's Day favorite from the archives. Truly, a classic. Originally appeared on Feb. 8, 2012.)

Dear Todd Parker,

Valentine's Day is such bullst. Everyone knows that it's just one more scam for corporations to make more money. Why should I hand over my cash to those a-holes at Hallmark or Whitman's or whatever just to celebrate a completely arbitrary date?

My girlfriend and I actually got together last spring, so this is the first time I've had to deal with this. She knows how I feel about the 'holiday' and she's on board with it. She thinks the whole thing is a crock too.

I don't need someone to tell me when or how to show love to the people around me. I do it every day. It's stupid to put all this emphasis on one day, especially if it's a day that doesn't actually matter to us or our relationships.

Help me out, Todd. Down with Valentine's Day!

V-Day Hater from Bangor

Dear Hater,

You sad, stupid man.

Look at you, making a brave stand against the corporate Valentine monolith. You sure will show those guys I'm sure the ten bucks you're not spending will really stick it to them.

Get over yourself.

Yes, Valentine's Day is a total shill job. So what? I repeat:so what?

You can claim that this is a 'cause' until you're blue in the face. Guess what? No one believes you. You start spouting this drivel and we immediately think 'Wow. This guy is a complete asshat. I feel sorry for his girlfriend.'

And I do feel sorry for your girlfriend. It is very sweet of her to go along with you on your douche-y little crusade, but are you really this dumb? She's saying all that for you. She's saying it because, for some unknown reason, she apparently cares about you. Despite the fact that you're an insensitive scrote.

Long story short: get off your damned high horse and buy your woman some damned flowers! I could give two sts about your principles and your corporate protests. Do it right, loser. Are you going to sit there and tell me that she doesn't deserve it? If she puts up with your smug self-righteousness on a regular basis, then she most certainly does.

Our partners deserve to be shown how much we love them every single day. The people we love should be celebrated in every way, shape and form. They should never doubt their importance for one minute. It doesn't always have to be some sort of grand gesture; just an indicator that you're thinking about them is enough.

So Valentine's Day is a corporate creation. Big deal. That doesn't mean that the sentiment behind it is any less genuine.

Todd Parker freely admits to loving Valentine's Day. Any chance to celebrate the women he loves is embraced. Any excuse to overdo is welcomed. True love is incredibly difficult to track down. When it is found, it should be honored and glorified.

197 comments

  • Comment Link Davidhar Thursday, 22 February 2018 03:08 posted by Davidhar

    inexpensive viagra online
    viagra on line
    is it legal to buy viagra on craigslist
    viagra prices
    viagra online arizona
    buy generic viagra
    buy generic viagra cialis online
    buy generic viagra online
    viagra generic availability

  • Comment Link Vincentinilk Tuesday, 20 February 2018 21:35 posted by Vincentinilk

    install microsoft office
    microsoft office 365
    download microsoft store
    microsoft word
    microsoft store support

  • Comment Link StephenPAF Tuesday, 20 February 2018 10:47 posted by StephenPAF

    microsoft office gratis
    microsoft excel
    windows phone
    microsoft excel
    microsoft office 2007

  • Comment Link Kevindoowl Tuesday, 20 February 2018 01:56 posted by Kevindoowl

    buy cialis japan
    cheap cialis
    cialis for cheap
    cialis cost
    cialis uk sale
    cialis coupons printable
    cheapest way buy cialis
    coupon for cialis
    how do i buy cialis

  • Comment Link Peteresomy Friday, 16 February 2018 09:35 posted by Peteresomy

    get rid viagra spam emails
    viagra without a doctor
    can get viagra walmart
    viagra without doctor
    viagra original online bestellen
    viagra prices
    sildenafil vorst 50 mg
    viagra online
    use viagra tablets women

  • Comment Link Jamesmog Friday, 16 February 2018 06:03 posted by Jamesmog

    microsoft website
    windows 8.1
    windows live mail
    windows update
    microsoft visio

  • Comment Link JoshuafonnA Thursday, 15 February 2018 17:02 posted by JoshuafonnA

    cheap fast viagra
    viagra without a doctor prescription
    order cialis viagra
    viagra no prescription
    sildenafil dosis 50 mg
    viagra cheap
    buy viagra in hyderabad
    viagra tablets
    how old do you need to be to buy viagra

  • Comment Link RogerUnura Thursday, 15 February 2018 11:22 posted by RogerUnura

    how to change ringtone in windows 10 mobile
    windows 8
    windows essentials
    windows updates
    screenshot windows

  • Comment Link RonaldCaway Wednesday, 14 February 2018 21:08 posted by RonaldCaway

    microsoft windows 10 free upgrade
    windows server
    microsoft windows installer
    windows update
    windows 10 store

  • Comment Link Ronaldorary Wednesday, 14 February 2018 17:11 posted by Ronaldorary

    hotmail sign in
    windows 8.1
    download microsoft word
    windows update
    microsoft word free

<< Start < Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Next > End >>

Leave a comment

Make sure you enter the (*) required information where indicated.
Basic HTML code is allowed.

Advertisements

Website CMS and Development by Links Online Marketing, LLC, Bangor Maine