Sex tape shenanigans

If you’ve been paying attention in recent years, you’ve noticed that MTV has seemingly gone out of their way to lower the bat when it comes to reality television. Shows like “Jersey Shore” and the like have turned some unpleasant people into celebrities.

Farrah Abraham, a former star of the network’s “Teen Mom,” has been popping up in the news in recent weeks following some drunken club antics and a DUI arrest. But she’s taken it to the next level – a sex tape with XXX star James Deen.

Baby on board

One of entertainment’s biggest power couples has announced an impending addition to their superfamous family.

That’s right: Kim Kardashian is going to have Kanye West’s baby. He made the announcement from the stage at a concert in Atlantic City, telling the world that Kim was pregnant. She is reportedly about 12 weeks along.

A weekend to forget

This was not a great weekend for Miley Cyrus.

The former “Hannah Montana” star had to deal with the law on two separate and unrelated occasions this weekend.

The first unfortunate incident – an incident for which Cyrus is blameless – came when some lunatic hopped the fence surrounding her Los Angeles home and started wandering around brandishing a pair of scissors. The intruder was apprehended and taken away. Scary stuff.

The second (and far more hilarious) incident took place Saturday night at a Hollywood nightclub. Cyrus and her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth allegedly wound up in an altercation with some people sitting near them at Beacher’s Madhouse at the Roosevelt Hotel.

The alleged victim claims that he and his friends accidentally bumped Hemsworth’s chair. Words were exchanged and tensions quickly escalated. According to the claimant, Hemsworth got in the man’s face and Cyrus jumped up to separate the two men. When she did so, he alleges that she pushed him away and struck him in the face. Cyrus’s representatives are calling the whole thing “false and erroneous” and people who claim to have witnessed the argument say that Miley never took a swing. As it stands right now, Cyrus is considered a criminal battery suspect.

It’s too early to say what really happened, but let’s be real: it sure seems plausible, doesn’t it? Miley Cyrus has done a lot of stupid things in her day; is it really that unreasonable to think she took a shot at a dude because he was mouthing off to her boyfriend? You’d think that someone with her history of poor judgment would think twice before getting into a screaming match with some rando, regardless of whether the argument ever progressed to the physical. We tried to let the crazy haircut slide, but this is a bridge too far.

We honestly thought you might be growing up a little, Miley. There was a nice stretch there when it seemed like you were getting your act together. Then…boom! It’s all crazy head shaving and getting in fights with dudes at nightclubs.

Oh well. Next weekend has to be better, right?

Creepy with a side of weird

Kanye West is weird. We can all agree on that. His planet-sized ego combined with his general disdain for basic social mores makes him one of the most bizarre of pop culture’s luminaries. So yeah, Kanye is weird.

But we couldn’t possibly have known just how weird.

It has recently come to light that Kanye has been borderline obsessed with his current girlfriend Kim Kardashian since long before the pair started dating. Apparently, Kanye’s 2009 song “Knock You Down” contains several lyrics that were penned specifically to address Kardashian (who was dating NFL player Reggie Bush at the time).

It’s the lyrics devoted to Kim on his latest single that have raised some eyebrows, however. The song “Clique” contains the line “Eat breakfast at Gucci/My girl a superstar all from a home movie,” a reference to Kardashian’s infamous career launching pad of a sex tape. Sounds like he’s okay with it, right?

Turns out he is way more than just okay with it.

Multiple sources have come forward to state that Kanye actually used to watch Kim’s sex tape to get himself in the mood. Apparently, he even occasionally went so far as to watch the tape while…let’s call it “entertaining” members of the opposite sex.

To each their own and all that, but holy crap - that is creepy. Did Kim know about Kanye’s proclivity? If so, who told her? If Kanye told her, why? For that matter, why would he tell anybody at all? That’s the sort of pathetic weirdness that you should really keep to yourself. Do you suppose he still watches the tape even though she’s the one being…”entertained”? Is she so delusional and self-absorbed that she views this as some sort of compliment?

Kim and Kanye – a match made in bats—t crazy heaven.

Twitter tribulations

Believe it or not, a good deal of the sayings and doings for which celebrities get slammed completely lack malicious intent. Don’t get me wrong – it doesn’t make these things less stupid. They are very stupid. Still, most of the time, no harm is meant.

The recent controversy surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow and her Twitter feed is a perfect example.

Paltrow was in attendance at a Jay-Z/Kanye West “Watch The Throne” show in Paris recently. She clearly was feeling it when she took to the interwebs to send this tweet: “N----s in Paris for real.” She paired that tweet with a picture of the duo on stage.