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Tim Bissell Tim Bissell
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Three Pint Stance - The people (person) have spoken! Limericks it is!

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ast week, I made a semi-desperate solicitation to you, the reading public, as to where this here beer-themed column should head in the coming weeks, months, years, etc.

To be quite honest, the response was underwhelming, to say the least. Shame on all of you who didn’t reach out. I am hurt, and to be honest a little embarrassed. I put myself out there and you left me out in the cold.

(Editor’s note: Seriously – it’s all we heard about. Tim’s too fragile for this kind of thing.)

However, there is one bright spot in this sea of darkness. Via e-mail, I received a message all the way from England - and a special message at that.

You see, last week, as I am wont to do in these pages, I made a passing joke to round out a list of things I was suggesting. I do this often - mostly because I really abhor taking things seriously.

(Editor’s note: Can confirm.)

Here is the relevant pull-quote:

“Tell me what you want to see in this space and I will bring it to you. Do you want more new beer release news? Interviews with Beer Industry folks? My (suspect) advice on how to make beer at home? Limericks, and only limericks about beer?”

Happily, a gentleman by the name of Doug Harris from Stockton-on-Tees, England took me up on the “Only Beer Limericks” suggestion; he even sent one along to get the ball rolling.

Here is it, the message in its entirety:

Tim,

One to get you started:

 

There once was a beer-drinking columnist,

Allergic (rhyme license!) to pollen mist.

If he over-imbibed

His friends would just jibe,

" Don't worry, he only gets solemn, pissed.”

 

Best regards,

Doug

(Doug Harris, Stockton-on-Tees, England, UK)

 

So, now that Doug has gotten us started, I shall take a stab:

 

The head brewer wracked his brain for days

“How do I get in on this new craze?”

Ditched his old recipes,

Pleaded while on his knees,

“Lord, won’t you teach me how to make haze!"

There, I did one. Anyone else want to take a shot at a beer limerick? Allen?

(Editor’s note: I’m in. Here’s mine.)

 

There once was a brewer named Bissell

Who knew just how to wet someone’s whistle

He made everyone say

“We want more IPA!”

And encouraged drunken dismissal.

 

Anyone else? If so, send them along to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or just send them to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and Allen will forward them along.

Happy Limericking!

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