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Tim Bissell Tim Bissell
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Three Pint Stance – My beer is warm! Help!

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It’s tough to think about right now, but the time is coming when the mercury’s going to really start rising. When that time does eventually arrive, the importance of properly chilled beer cannot be understated. Sure, there are certain styles of beer that taste great at warmer temps, but that’s not what we’re talking about right now. In short, I want a bottle of Kolsch and I want it as cold as you can get it!

So, I raise a hypothetical that may resonate with you. You walk into Ye Olde Beer Shoppe to find a six-pack of local suds to quench this powerful thirst that has built up throughout your day working in the relentless heat. The six pack is there waiting for you, but there is one problem.

The beer is warm.

What is a thirsty, yet impatient beer drinker to do? Luckily, I have a fool proof solution for this problem that should have you drinking a frosty cold beer in 15 minutes or less.

Here is the trick:

  1.     Take four of the beers and put them in the fridge, those ones are flying coach to Cooltown.
  2.     Take the remaining two beers and prepare a spot for them in the freezer. Make sure there is enough room so that they not be touching any other items. Airflow is your friend here.
  3.     take two paper towels big enough to wrap completely around the can or bottle and completely soak the paper towels in water.
  4.     Ring the water out, and then wrap a soaked paper towel around each can/bottle of beer.
  5.     Place the paper towel covered containers into the freezer and set a timer for 15 minutes. No more. No less. (if Siri or Alexa live in your house, utilize them for this)
  6.     Did you set a timer? Do it. You’ll thank me when you aren't cleaning beercicles out of the freezer.
  7.     When the timer goes off, take one of the beers out, de-towel it and crack it open.
  8.     Pop the other one in the fridge, that one is the “on-deck” beer.

That’s it. Now you have cold beer and it has been what, 15 minutes? The on-deck beer is super cold and ready, and by the time you get into beer three, the fridge will have safely transported the four coach travelers to the aforementioned Cooltown. Extremely minor problem solved.

TRAVELERS ADDENDUM:

I hear you in the back, so cool your jets. What do you do if you are traveling and there isn't a freezer in your hotel room? Easy, plug the bathroom sink, fill it halfway with cold water and then get a bucket of ice and dump that in along with the cold water. Pop a few cans or bottles into the ice bath and wait 15 minutes. You’ll have a pretty darn cold beer to drink as you watch the free cable and wear a bathrobe over your regular clothes. Maybe that’s just me. Anyway, enjoy the beer!

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