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Weird National Briefs - 12/17/14

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The more you know

PIERRE, S.D. - South Dakota officials have canceled a public safety campaign to raise awareness about the dangers of jerking the steering wheel on icy roads, saying it's too risqu.

The Department of Public Safety has pulled the 'Don't Jerk and Drive' ads, which played on the double-meaning of the word 'jerk.' Highway Safety Director Lee Axdahl told the Argus Leader earlier this week that the double meaning was intentional, to grab people's attention.

He says the message is that the department would prefer drivers keep their cars out of the ditch and their mind out of the gutter.

But his boss, Public Safety Director Trevor Jones, says he's pulling the social media and television ads. He says he doesn't want innuendo to distract from the goal of saving lives on the road.

TME [insert inappropriate joke and/or juvenile comment here]

Riding dirty

WHITE PLAINS, N.Y.- A man has been charged with robbing or attempting to rob 15 New York gas stations and convenience stores and making his getaways on a bicycle.

A complaint filed Thursday against Bernard Kilkenny says he hit as many as four Hudson Valley gas stations in one night. All the robberies came within about five weeks this fall.

The complaint says in each case the robber was recorded or described by witnesses as leaving on a black BMX bicycle. It says when Kilkenny was arrested Wednesday he was driving a pickup and had a BMX bike under a tarp in the back.

Kilkenny is charged with 15 counts of robbery. He's detained without bail.

Defense lawyer Jason Ser won't comment.

TME It's a rare robbery spree that's carbon-neutral.

Sweet smuggling

NEW YORK- Authorities say a woman arriving at John F. Kennedy International Airport was carrying something extra in the packets of custard and milk powder in her luggage - cocaine.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection says a K-9 unit dog alerted its handler to a suspicious suitcase at the New York airport on Nov. 21. The suitcase's owner was a woman arriving from Georgetown, Guyana.

A baggage check turned up three packages of milk powder and three packages of custard powder. The substance inside was examined and tested positive for cocaine.

The woman is a U.S. citizen. She's facing federal narcotics smuggling charges.

TME Her pies are AMAZING!

Meanwhile, in Vermont

BURLINGTON, Vt.- University of Vermont Police say three students are accused of stealing a chicken from a Burlington fraternity house, killing it and eating it at a dormitory.

The Chittenden County prosecutor says he has declined to prosecute the students and all three cases have been referred to a reparative justice board.

Police said they received a report of trespassing and larceny on Sunday at a private residence where members of the Alpha Gamma Rho fraternity live.

The president of the fraternity, which is for those interested in agriculture or food industries, said they have decided not to pursue charges.

Police say they don't know the motive for the theft.

TME Set it in Vermont and 'Animal House' is a VERY different movie.

Little lost lamb

OMAHA, Nebraska- A sheep wearing a festive red-and-green sweater who was found wandering around Omaha has been reunited with his owner.

Owner Margaret Vazquez tells KMTV she initially panicked when the sheep named Gage went missing. She says the sheep 'follows me everywhere.'

Nebraska Humane Society spokeswoman Pam Wiese says the sheep was reclaimed Tuesday evening. The Humane Society was caring for Gage after he was found Sunday evening in an Omaha neighborhood.

Gage shares a shed with two chickens, when he isn't in his owner's house. Gage is used to walking on a leash and doesn't seem to mind that the holiday apparel he donned appears to have been designed for a dog.

Vazquez says it was the first time Gage has escaped and now will spend more time indoors.

TME Isn't that like wearing a sweater on top of another sweater?

A modest proposal

AMSTERDAM- A Dutchman's attempt at a romantic wedding proposal was simply smashing.

The unidentified lover in the central town of Ijsselstein rented a crane, planning to descend in front of his girlfriend's bedroom window first thing Saturday morning, play her a song and then pop the question. Instead the crane toppled over, smashing a large hole in the neighbors' roof.

The man clambered to safety and no one was injured.

According to the Algemeen Dagblad newspaper, the girlfriend said 'yes' anyway. After speaking with police, the pair traveled to Paris to celebrate.

Then the crane fell again during attempts to right it with a larger crane, bashing in the rest of the neighbors' roof. The town's mayor is on the spot after the building was declared unsafe. Six apartments were evacuated.

TME Sometimes, the universe just demands to be heard.

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