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Weird National Briefs - 12/10/14

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DUI Level: Expert

POMFRET, Vt. - Vermont State Police say a 48-year-old man drove his pickup truck off the road, piloted another off the road trying to pull the first one out and then drove an ATV, all while intoxicated.

Police on Thursday said Dwayne Fenlason was charged with driving under the influence after the Nov. 30 incident in Pomfret.

They say Fenlason drove his truck off the road Sunday evening then went home to get his other pickup to haul out the stranded vehicle. He was on his way back when the second truck ended up off the road. He went home again and got his ATV to try to pull out the trucks.

Police say his blood alcohol content was 0.30 percent, nearly four times the legal limit of 0.08 percent.

It could not immediately be learned if he had a lawyer.

TME If nothing else, you have to admire his commitment to the craft.

And get off my lawn!

GASTONIA, N.C.- A 68-year-old Gastonia man says he scared off two men in ski masks trying to break in his home with his gun he can keep on his walker. And then he taped a note to his door saying if they try to break in his house again, he will be waiting on them.

Joseph Sapienza told The Gaston Gazette that he was watching TV Thursday night when he heard someone trying to pry open his door. He says he got his gun, put it in a holster in his walker and shuffled to the front door. He flipped on a light, yelled he was armed and threw open the door.

Sapienza says the men ran away. He says he put up the note to warn any other would-be robbers.

TME Clint Eastwood is already hard at work on the screenplay.

Bathroom buck

GALLOWAY, New Jersey- Police say a deer burst through the front doors of a New Jersey home, darted through the residence and ransacked the master bathroom.

Galloway police received a 911 call at around 3:30 p.m. Saturday from a woman reporting that a deer ran through her house while she was putting sweet potatoes in the oven. The woman said she followed the deer into the back of the house and locked it in a bathroom.

Responding officers found the glass on the front storm door shattered. They also found the frame on the main door damaged, indicating that the deer muscled its way through two doors to enter the home.

After a brief standoff, police escorted the deer from the home and released it into the wild.

The bathroom was significantly damaged.

TME When you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

Trading spaces

TACOMA, Wash.- A Washington state man is accused of swapping furniture with his neighbors while they were away.

The News Tribune reports the Lakewood man and a friend who is accused of helping him pleaded not guilty Wednesday to charges of residential burglary.

Court papers say a couple who returned to their apartment Monday found their love seat, matching chair and other belongings gone. A recliner and TV stand were left in their place.

Information on a traffic ticket and pizza receipt pointed to the neighbor.

The man told police he thought the couple had moved and abandoned their furniture. Police say he told them he was drunk when he decided to switch furniture, calling his buddy for help.

TME Ty Pennington is a mean drunk.

Shifting the blame

HOUSTON- Authorities say two teenagers attempting to carjack a vehicle in Houston were foiled by a stick shift.

The pair held the motorist at gunpoint last weekend and demanded that he tell them how to drive the vehicle. After the driver provided a few instructions, the teens ordered him out of the vehicle. He then called police.

A brief police chase ensued. Stefan Happ, an officer for the University of Texas at Houston, told KPRC-TV the teens 'had issues operating the vehicle.'

The pair opted to flee on foot and were later apprehended.

The suspects are 15 and 17 years old. They were taken into custody. The older boy was charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon.

TME They just couldn't come through in the clutch.

Hold your tongue

DELAND, Fla.- Police in Florida say a Wal-Mart shopper denied slipping $35 worth of beef tongue into his pants, but the telltale tongue told a different story.

DeLand police say 44-year-old Jason Puckett was charged last week with misdemeanor theft after a Wal-Mart security guard spotted him slipping two packages of tongue into his waistband.

When the guard confronted Puckett at the store's exit, Puckett denied stealing the packages and said he had put them back on a shelf.

But the guard told authorities Puckett then removed the tongue from his pants when he didn't think he was being watched and ran from the store.

Jail records show Puckett remained in jail Tuesday. Bail was set at $2,500.

A public defender assigned to Puckett did not immediately return a call seeking comment.

TME We've got a great joke for this one, but alas, ours is a family publication.

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