Todd Parker takes on literary love stories
Advice columnist answers questions classic romances should have asked
Happy Valentine’s Day, losers!
Since the letters I’ve received regarding this year’s holiday have been generally crappy, I decided to give you folks a little something special, a sort of literary retrospective that I’ve been kicking around for a while. I thought you lamewads might find it interesting to hear what kind of advice I might give to those characters in literature dealing with relationship complications.
As you might have guessed, the end result is f---ing BRILLIANT.
Rather than confine myself to just one of these magnificent constructions, I instead chose to give my adoring fans a selection that spans centuries on the literary timeline. It’s a holiday celebrating love, after all, and since I definitely don’t love the s—t questions you morons sent me, I figured I’d put something together that is both entertaining and educational.
The Big Game’s golden anniversary
Breaking down Super Bowl 50
Back in the fall, 32 NFL teams started their seasons with a singular goal – win the Super Bowl. Over the course of the past few months, team after team saw their dreams of hoisting aloft the Lombardi Trophy fall by the wayside. Now, the lengthy battle of attrition has finally come to its end.
It’s time for the Super Bowl.
This is the 50th edition of what has become the biggest event in American sports. Hundreds of millions of people both here and all around the world will be watching as the Denver Broncos take on the Carolina Panthers for the right to call themselves champions.
Winging It (01-27-2016)
Area restaurants chime in on classic Super Bowl staple
For many, the Super Bowl is a big deal (though it may be less of a big deal now that the Pats are out). But for some (present company included), the biggest Football event of the season is less about the game and more about food and the commercials.
One food stands out above the rest as a Super Bowl staple and that is chicken wings – bone-in or boneless (also known as chicken tenders), typically fried and smothered in various sauces to become something greater than a simple piece of chicken. It becomes the centerpiece of an American event.
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