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Advice columnist answers questions classic romances should have asked
Happy Valentine’s Day, losers!
Since the letters I’ve received regarding this year’s holiday have been generally crappy, I decided to give you folks a little something special, a sort of literary retrospective that I’ve been kicking around for a while. I thought you lamewads might find it interesting to hear what kind of advice I might give to those characters in literature dealing with relationship complications.
As you might have guessed, the end result is f---ing BRILLIANT.
Rather than confine myself to just one of these magnificent constructions, I instead chose to give my adoring fans a selection that spans centuries on the literary timeline. It’s a holiday celebrating love, after all, and since I definitely don’t love the s—t questions you morons sent me, I figured I’d put something together that is both entertaining and educational.
Breaking down Super Bowl 50
Back in the fall, 32 NFL teams started their seasons with a singular goal – win the Super Bowl. Over the course of the past few months, team after team saw their dreams of hoisting aloft the Lombardi Trophy fall by the wayside. Now, the lengthy battle of attrition has finally come to its end.
It’s time for the Super Bowl.
This is the 50th edition of what has become the biggest event in American sports. Hundreds of millions of people both here and all around the world will be watching as the Denver Broncos take on the Carolina Panthers for the right to call themselves champions.
Area restaurants chime in on classic Super Bowl staple
For many, the Super Bowl is a big deal (though it may be less of a big deal now that the Pats are out). But for some (present company included), the biggest Football event of the season is less about the game and more about food and the commercials.
One food stands out above the rest as a Super Bowl staple and that is chicken wings – bone-in or boneless (also known as chicken tenders), typically fried and smothered in various sauces to become something greater than a simple piece of chicken. It becomes the centerpiece of an American event.
Editor’s note: Wire reports contributed to parts of this story.
For a long time, this winter wasn’t really acting like a winter. Balmy temperatures, not-so-white Christmas, open water just about everywhere. Well, now that it’s mid-January things are starting to normalize. We’ve had a couple of decent-sized weather events and soon those who enjoy being out in the cold will be able to do so.
If you’re one of those people, you probably know a fair thing about what the state has to offer in terms of outdoor winter activities. But if you’re new, or made a resolution to get out and play in the snow, here’s a few things you can try.
Caveat: Yes, we’ve had some snow and colder temperatures, but that doesn’t mean waterways have frozen solid in that amount of time, or that all the snowmobile trails are open. If you aren’t sure, check with your local clubs or state organization about your trip. It spoils everyone’s fun if your Skidoo falls through the ice or bottoms out on a log. Be careful and have fun.
Some of the new year’s interesting TV debuts
It wasn’t that long ago that that the fall television lineups were the be-all and end-all of new TV. Shows that made their debuts were considered little more than filler – the term “midseason replacement” was often used in a derogatory fashion.
However, as the ways in which we consume television have changed, so too have our attitudes regarding when shows join their respective lineups. Instead of an afterthought, the “Second Season” has become a viable entity in its own right, with all sorts of interesting offerings arriving on your screen of choice.
was one of the most stylish and engaging shows on television. Of course, the involvement of a legend like Martin Scorsese and an idiosyncratically talented leading man (Steve Buscemi) didn’t hurt.
Winter’s latest tackles a very different place and time – the music industry of the 1970s – but we can probably expect more of the same in terms of quality. Scorsese is back, directing the pilot and confirming plans to direct future episodes. Winter has shouldered much of the writing load (though Mick Jagger of all people has a story credit on the first episode, so who knows how this might play out), while the idiosyncratically talented Bobby Cannavale heads an excellent cast.
It’s a show about a record company during the golden age of rock and roll – if nothing else, the soundtrack will be phenomenal.
‘11.22.63’ (Feb. 15; Hulu)
“11.22.63” is one of the best books to come from Stephen King’s late-career renaissance. This story of one man’s quixotic effort to travel through time and prevent the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in Dallas on November 22, 1963 features some of the most powerful narrative work that King has ever done. The self-contained nature of the story also makes it an ideal fit for a one-and-done TV series.
MAINE – The difference between this winter and last year’s winter is stark, with temperatures well into the 40s and 50s throughout November and December. Not only did we not have a white Christmas, the snow that did fall Christmas week was rather light, and only 75 households experienced loss of power here in Maine.
Although this most recent storm, dubbed “Goliath,” wreaked havoc across much of the country, Maine was mostly spared – this time around.
The contrast underscores the unpredictable nature of Maine storms, which can make planning difficult. We sat down with folks from Emera Maine to find out what goes into the prep and restoration when a nasty storm does hit.
This is a good job to have if you enjoy talking to people and learning new things. And 2015 was a particularly good year for it. Between names big and small, I met some of the most interesting people who live in or visited Maine.
‘The Last Unicorn’ tour
So that was 2015. It has been another good one here at The Maine Edge, with plenty of interesting stories. Here are a few of my absolute favorites from the last 12 months.
Writing the police beat is always a mixed bag of sadness, absurdity and humor. At the end of the year, we take a look back and pull from the files the best of the worst. We skip over the grim stories and try to find the ones that made us shake our heads or laugh. Names and dates have been removed to let people get on with their lives. And though we will never rise to the heights of hilarity that have graced the Bangor Police Department due to the tender ministrations of Sgt. Tim Cotton, we will always try.
What follows are our 2016 Crimees. Stay out of the Police Beat, kids.
Predicting the outcome of every college bowl game
It’s that time of year again – that time when I use every bit of knowledge I have accumulated in another season of college football half-fandom and try to predict the winners of every bowl game.
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