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Wednesday, 15 January 2014 21:49

Crime and punishment

Written by Katy England

I had an epiphany while putting one of my daughters in time out (hitting or pushing). I realized that my parents never wanted to punish me. I know this will seem dreadfully obvious to many people (particularly my parents). But when I was growing up, part of me seemed to think the rules were there so my parents had a reason to punish me. When you got punished, you got mad at your parents not at your own foolish actions.

Here's the thing about punishments they are a negative consequence usually put in place to avoid a terrible consequence. When I was 3 years old, I learned the why behind why my parents forbade jumping on the bed. My brother and I really enjoyed it I think anyone who has ever jumped on a bed really enjoys it. It's fun. We were jumping, not just on the bed, but from one bed to another. My brother decided to see what would happen if he pushed me mid-jump. Well, what happens is you miss and need stitches.

Wednesday, 08 January 2014 16:10

The terribles

Written by Katy England

As soon as you have children you will be asked questions about their behavior: Are they sleeping through the night? Are they walking? Are they talking? And so forth. You respond in various ways, positive or negative it doesn't matter and the next thing out of that person's mouth is, 'Just wait until they are [insert age of awfulness here].'

The helpfulness of such discourse is suspect. I mean, all it's doing is not only compounding whatever challenge that is facing the parent at that particular point in development it's giving them future worries.

Monday, 30 December 2013 23:41

Love and loss of toys

Written by Katy England

I enjoy the car that I drive, I like coffee and I have books that I will read more than once. You may say I love those things and I would have too, until I realized I was using the word wrong.

My son loves trucks. And cars. Anything with wheels. He and his little sister have been known to hang out under the high chair (that has wheels), chat about how they are in the car and proceed to push it as far as the awkward contraption will go (not far, thankfully).

Thursday, 26 December 2013 14:09

Looking back can be weird

Written by Katy England

It's hard to remember what things were like with the kids a year ago. I take pictures, I write things down, but it doesn't really matter. It's apples and oranges. 

Just last night, my boy was sitting in the middle of the kitchen 'reading' a book to me. I am aware he can't read words, but he knows what to say and on which page to say them. It was jarring to have him open up the page and just say, with words that wouldn't need to be translated to anyone: 'Goodnight, Moon.' Real words. Understandable words.

Tuesday, 17 December 2013 22:00

Three to one

Written by Katy England

Life isn't fair. The secret is to try not to let that fact get you down. But it can be rough.

The newest realization in this vein, for me, was the fact that I'm forced to give all of my kids the short end of the stick. A lot. That's not how you want to feel as mom. I see moms who bring their kids to restaurants, cook with them, read them books and tuck them in. I want to be that mom to all of my kids all at the same time. But I can't, because I'm one person.

Wednesday, 11 December 2013 23:00

Holiday crazies

Written by Katy England

Spare time. I used to have it, but it's long gone. We're in the final countdown of Christmas and I'm feeling the inklings of panic. It used to be that I could dither away my time and get all my shopping, wrapping, mailing and gifting done at the last minute. Distant memory.

I learned early on that I need to do as much in advance as possible in order to meet the deadline that is Christmas. It gets a bit more drastic as the brood gets older, because this is the first year I feel that Christmas is really going to stick in the kids' mind. So I want it to be nice.

Wednesday, 04 December 2013 13:58

Party like a rockstar

Written by Katy England

I've never really been a party animal. I mean, I enjoy social events and dancing and whatever. But I've never been one to stay out all night and have gaps in my memory. Some people may look back on a life bereft of binge drinking and clubbing and feel like something is missing. I don't feel that not because of some misplaced sense of superiority. Oh no, it's because I didn't truly miss it.

You see, when you are surrounded by toddlers, you are living the party lifestyle by force. There are tangible phases to the party life of small children. 

Tuesday, 26 November 2013 23:10

Thanks

Written by Katy England

The holidays are a whirlwind. It seems like I just finished figuring out what the kids were going to be for Halloween, and now I'm shopping for turkeys and Christmas presents. It seems like the chaos surrounding the holidays is designed to make you grateful for what you have in your life. Sometimes you just have to remember to take that breath and remember what it is all about.

For the past month, Facebook has exploded with people celebrating 30 days of thankfulness. I'm not going to give you 30 I swear! But here are a few things I am thankful for:

Wednesday, 20 November 2013 19:42

Cooling it

Written by Katy England

For a lot of my life, I was the center of a drama about me. I wrote, produced and starred in it. I think that is fairly typical.

Then I went and had kids. 

Wednesday, 13 November 2013 23:05

Base jumping

Written by Katy England

I knew this day would come. Ever since my boy pulled himself upright in the crib I knew it was inevitable. They've jumped crib.

Two out of three anyway, and no I'm in no rush to scoop the third off the floor while she cries. And I'm also not ready to convert to big kid beds though that is clearly the step that I need to take next. And it will happen soon, I know. I'm just not mentally ready for it.

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