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Weird National Briefs (02/21/2018)

February 21, 2018
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Bad knight

BERLIN - Police in western Germany have freed two men who became entangled with a mannequin and a large, remote controlled car.

Officers were called after cries were heard from an apartment in the city of Mainz in the early hours of Saturday.

Police found the 58-year-old tenant and a 61-year-old visitor “hopelessly locked together” with the toy car and the mannequin - which was dressed in a knight’s costume.

Officers were able to free the men, who were too drunk to explain how their unfortunate predicament had come about.

According to a police statement, “the whole thing would have remained a funny episode” but the younger man was “more than impolite” and now faces a charge of insulting officers.

TME – It’s basically weirdo German Mad Libs.

Delivery disorder

BERLIN - German police are investigating a case of severe pizza stalking in the western town of Dortmund.

Police are looking for someone who’s bombarded a lawyer by sending scores of pizzas to his office.

They said Wednesday the annoyed lawyer pressed charges in January but told them he had no idea who was behind the unwanted food deliveries.

Local newspaper Ruhr Nachrichten named the lawyer as Guido Grolle, who told them he had already received over 100 pizzas. Grolle says “it’s so irritating, I don’t even get my work done anymore.” He says sometimes notices about the first deliveries of the day pop up on his phone during his morning shower.

Lately, however, the anonymous buyer’s tastes have changed: there have also been deliveries for sushi, sausage and Greek food.

TME – No sauerkraut? This guy’s the wurst.

Man’s best governor

HUTCHINSON, Kan. - Kansas election officials are putting the brakes on a dog’s campaign for governor.

KWCH-TV reports that Terran Woolley, of Hutchinson, decided to file the paperwork over the weekend for his 3-year-old pooch, Angus, to run for the state’s top office after reading stories about six teenage candidates. The teens entered the race after learning Kansas doesn’t have an age requirement, something lawmakers are seeking to change.

Angus is a type of hunting dog called a wire-haired Vizsla. Woolley figured Angus would need to run as a Republican. He described Angus as a “caring, nurturing individual who cares about the best for humanity and all creatures other than squirrels.”

But the Kansas Secretary of State’s office says man’s best friend is not capable of serving the responsibilities required of the governor.

TME – Who’s a good governor? Who is? Who’s a good governor?

Obit bandit

BARNSTABLE, Mass. - Police have arrested a man who they say broke into people’s homes in Massachusetts while they attended wakes or funeral services.

Authorities say they began to suspect the 35-year-old Plymouth man during an investigation into a series of break-ins on Cape Cod.

The man had previously served an 18-month prison sentence on a 2012 conviction for breaking into a police officer’s home as the officer attended his mother’s funeral.

Barnstable police say they began following the man’s car Friday while other officers went to homes of residents attending funeral services.

Officers discovered a break-in in Cotuit and pulled the man over. Police arrested him after finding jewelry in his sweatshirt pockets.

The man, who police nicknamed the “obit bandit,” is facing multiple charges including felony breaking and entering.

TME – Dude might as well be tying people to railroad tracks.

Poodle pandemonium

NEW YORK - It doesn’t take much to slow down the New York subway system.

On Friday afternoon, one bundle of fur stopped train service on a transit line between Brooklyn and Manhattan.

Officer George Tsourovakas says a poodle named Dakota got away from a Brooklyn park run near the Manhattan Bridge and dashed into the York Street station, making it to the tracks of the F train and running southbound on the northbound tracks. To spare the animal, power was turned off and service to Manhattan ground to a halt for about an hour so the poodle could be rescued.

Officers responded, finally catching the dog two subway stations away, trailed by both Dakota’s dog walker and its owner.

TME – That’s one ruff commute.

Grand gesture

NEW YORK - It wasn’t meant to be for a New York City woman seeking a mystery missed connection via a 20-foot mural asking him to meet her on Valentine’s Day.

Twenty-five-year-old Devin Custalow waited for nearly 30 minutes at the billboard that asked the mystery man with yellow shoes she met on a subway train in October to meet with her at 1 p.m. Wednesday. She was surrounded by friends, family and plenty of cameras for the meeting that never came to pass, but her loved ones were on hand with a bouquet of flowers.

Custalow says despite the outcome, the search for her mystery Valentine was a really great experience and she hopes she’s encouraged others to look for love.

TME – Just another sign of the times.

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