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Weird National Briefs (05/03/2017)

May 3, 2017
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Out fur justice

WAYNESBORO, Va. - Why would someone go around shaving other people’s cats?

The mystery has the attention of police in Waynesboro, a small city in Virginia’s Shenandoah Valley where someone has been taking cats and precisely shaving their underbellies or legs. It’s happened to seven cats since December.

Police Capt. Kelly Walker said Friday that all the cats have been returned otherwise unharmed, but some seem bothered. Walker says all the cats clearly had owners - they were well-groomed and wearing collars. He says police aren’t sure what crime has been committed, but the owners “would just like it to stop.”

Walker says he learned of the feline barbering spree this week when a resident asked if he could post notices asking anyone with information to contact police.

TME – We can’t think of any jokes even remotely appropriate for a family publication.

Shop smash

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. - Beverly Hills police say they are looking for a man who deliberately drove his Mercedes-Benz into boutiques on Rodeo Drive.

Police say the man appeared to be looking only to vandalize early Friday when he drove the Mercedes SUV into three boutiques and an office on the famously ritzy street.

The man shattered glass storefronts and scratched a door.

Police say the man in his 20s with a black hooded sweatshirt and black baseball cap was driving slowly and did not attempt to steal anything from the stores, leading investigators to believe he was only trying to damage them.

TME – Maybe that’s just how the cool kids shop these days.

Llama lasso

RUSSELL, Mass. - Massachusetts State Police are praising the cowboy skills of one their troopers after he lassoed a llama that was loose on a state highway and led it to safety.

Police say Troopers Matthew Kane and Kyle Minnicucci were called after a llama was spotted on a state roadway Thursday in Russell.

Fearing for the animal’s safety, Kane grabbed a rope from his cruiser, fashioned it into a lasso and slung it around the llama’s neck. Kane and Minnicucci guided the animal off the road to ensure it wouldn’t be hit by passing vehicles.

The troopers were not able to determine where the llama came from, but the owner of a nearby horse farm offered to keep the animal until its owner is found.

TME – Ah yes, the llamaboys of the old Northeast.

See you later!

SIMPSON COUNTY, Miss. - A Mississippi man discovered an alligator while doing yardwork at his home.

WAPT-TV reports a Simpson County resident was raking up a flower bed when he found an 8-foot-7-inch alligator staring at him.

Dr. Chip Holbrook says he was preparing for an after-prom party on Saturday when he spotted the large reptile and called the sheriff’s department. He says his son was trimming hedges while the alligator was only inches away, but apparently it was undisturbed.

The state wildlife department removed the gator. Officials believe it had wandered from a nearby 15-acre lake searching for a mate.

TME – Why was a doctor going to a prom?

K-9 caper

AKRON, Ohio - Police say an Ohio man called 911 to request a police dog to help track down heroin allegedly stolen from him.

WEWS-TV reports a 20-year-old man in Bath Township, near Akron, made the call in January. The recording was released this week.

When the call operator asks why the caller needs a police dog, he replies that a female stole heroin from him.

Bath Police Chief Mike McNeely says it’s among the most bizarre things he’s heard in four decades of policing.

McNeely says the man is expected to face a drug charge after he pulled a brown, waxy substance from his pants while being interviewed by police.

The substance was seized and sent to a lab for testing. The caller was released pending the test results.

TME – We all have our own definition of “emergency.”

Island life

OCRACOKE, N.C. - Authorities say a woman led police on a high-speed chase on a North Carolina coastal island but found out it’s hard to elude the law when the only highway leads to a ferry dock.

The Hyde County Sheriff’s Office says deputies were called last weekend about a motorist driving recklessly on tiny Ocracoke Island in North Carolina’s Outer Banks.

Capt. Jason Daniels says 34-year-old Tara E. Cranmer led deputies with sirens wailing along the lone state highway, a two-lane island route reachable only by ferry. Daniels says Cranmer stopped her truck near the north ferry dock, ran and was captured about an hour later. No one was hurt.

Authorities say Cranmer faces several charges and has been jailed on a $22,000 bond. It isn’t known if she has an attorney.

TME – Still a better ending than “Lost.”

Fruity flood

MOSCOW - A flash flood of fruit juice from a beverage plant in southern Russia has flowed into a town’s streets and into the River Don.

The Prosecutor’s Office in the Lipetsk region said in a statement that the roof of PepsiCo’s Lebedyansky factory collapsed Tuesday morning, injuring two people. By early Tuesday afternoon, rescue workers were still working to clear debris from the factory floor.

The prosecutors said several tons of fruit juice had been spilled, and local media posted videos of torrents of a pinkish substance streaming down the streets. Authorities said they were monitoring pollution levels in the River Don, one of Russia’s longest, after the juice was reported to have spilled into the river.

Pepsico did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

TME – In Russia, juice drinks you!

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