Celebrity Slam - 03/17/10 by Allen Adams edge staff writer aadams@themaineedge.com Green = green In case you've just been born or have been living under a rock for the past six months, James Cameron recently produced and directed a little indie film called "Avatar," which is in the process of breaking each and every box office record, domestic and global, that there is. Which wouldn't be such a big deal if he wasn't such an insufferable assclown. But he really is. From his self-important speeches to his proclamations that his film would change the way that movies are made, it seems like everything he says and does reeks most unpleasantly of arrogance, self-aggrandizement and sheer douchebaggery. He's even managed to be a smug jackass about the release date of the "Avatar" DVD. While the traditional release day for DVDs is Tuesday, Cameron recently announced that "Avatar" would be coming out on April 22, which is a Thursday. It's also Earth Day. Really, Jimbo? Really? Look, we've all heard your bullcrap about how this movie is some sort of broad metaphor for conservationism (which I really don't buy, in case you're wondering). But to trot your admittedly pretty "Dances With Fern Gully" out there as some sort of morality tale? Can you stop being a jerk for even a second? You're like some next-step in asshat evolution; the Douche of Tomorrow. Just leave it, man. We know you're all about the green. Just don't try to sell us on the fact that you care about the environment, too. Days of lies and anger In recent weeks here at Celebrity Slam, we've seen a few mentions of The Replicant Formerly Known As Heidi Montag, but her technically-still-human husband Spencer Pratt has been behind the scenes a bit. So does this mean the uberdouche has learned the error of his ways? Heavens no. Pratt recently announced that he was leaving "The Hills" to take a job in the cyber security division at American Defense Enterprise. This would seem to be a wonderful opportunity for him save for the fact that it sounds like something he should be saying from underneath a tinfoil hat. Shockingly, it turns out that Pratt's pants were totally on fire. The real reason he's leaving the show is because he went completely berserk on set and actually threatened to kill a female producer. Despite the fact that he should have been fired, MTV says that if he disappears for six weeks and does some anger management classes, he can come back. I think my favorite part is the fact that he seemed to really believe that people would buy him working in cyber security. I wouldn't let that waste of space work in mall security. And to toss out threats at people who are only trying to give him what he wants, i.e. more fame? His sense of entitlement is outweighed only by his egomaniacal arrogance. Although the more I think about it, if I found out that I was talking to one of the producers of "The Hills," I might feel a bit murderous myself. Miley versus the internet Oh Miley. Miley Miley Miley. Hannah Montana herself recently gave an interview with US Magazine in which she discusses, among other things, the fact that she has decided that the internet is "kind of lame." She also thinks that people are spending far too much time on such sites as Twitter and Facebook. She also talks about how she hates it when celebrities complain about their lack of a personal life, blaming them "because you write everything that you're doing." Maybe Miley ought to use the "lame" internet to look up the word irony. For this kid to get all high and mighty because she's managed to quit Twitter for a few months and occasionally hang out with her friends in real life is just ridiculous. The internet is one of the main reasons anybody cares. Hell, without the internet, I personally would have only the vaguest idea of who you are. Maybe you ought to think twice before biting the hand that feeds you, kiddo. Although it becomes more and more clear that thinking isn't really your thing.