Weird National Briefs - 301010 From the Associated Press The politics of parking LOVELAND, Colo. - A long-running argument over a favorite McDonald's parking spot has resulted in an assault conviction. A Colorado jury on Friday convicted 52-year-old Vernon Brandt of Loveland of felony third-degree assault for a 2008 fight with 85-year-old Richard Albers. On the day of the assault, Albers walked up to Brandt's truck because Brandt was blocking the spot Albers has been using almost every morning for 16 years. Albers tapped on Brandt's door, and Brandt then swung open his truck door, knocking Albers to the ground. Brandt then allegedly got out of his car, grabbed Albers and threatened to fight him. Prosecutors said the men had argued over the spot before. Sentencing has not been set. TME - Old men fighting in a McDonald's parking lot? We smell a sitcom! One smart monkey ST. PETERSBURG, Florida - A monkey that has eluded capture in the Tampa Bay area for more than a year has again escaped from Florida wildlife officials. Authorities were called to a neighborhood in St. Petersburg on Wednesday when the rhesus macaque monkey was spotted. It was twice hit with tranquilizer darts, but still got away by ducking behind a drug store and a church. Wildlife rehabilitator Vernon Yates told The Tampa Tribune that the tranquilizers don't appear to affect the animal, though officials have increased the dosage each time they've used the drug on the monkey. Yates says the monkey is smart, even stopping to check traffic before crossing a busy street. Officials didn't say how the monkey got loose. They say it isn't considered a threat to humans. TME - Run for your lives, Floridians! The Monkeypocalypse is upon you! Worst. Honeymoon. Ever. HYANNIS, Mass. - A newlywed couple spent their wedding night in separate jail cells after police said the bride tried to run over an old flame of the groom. Police told the Cape Cod Times that 22-year-old Marissa Ann Putignano-Keene tried Monday to run over the other woman and the woman's son in a parking lot. The intended victim later told police that she had previously been in an intimate relationship with the groom. Police say the couple married at Barnstable Town Hall and split a bottle of champagne afterward. The bride was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon. Her husband, 37-year-old Timothy Keene, was riding in the car with her and was charged with disorderly conduct. Both were released Tuesday. It was unclear if either had hired an attorney. TME - Nothing says love like trying to run down your new husband's ex. It's a beautiful thing. This week in poor judgment LONDON - An English dog-owner has been fined after taking his pet for a stroll while driving next to him in his car. Prosecutors said Paul Railton was spotted driving at low speed along a country lane in December, holding his dog's leash through the car window as the animal trotted alongside. Railton pleaded guilty Monday to not being in proper control of a vehicle. His lawyer, Paul Donoghue, said 23-year-old Railton acknowledged "it was a silly thing to do and there was an element of laziness" while exercising his lurcher. Railton was ordered by magistrates in Consett, northeast England, to pay a 66 pound ($100) fine, plus costs. He also received three penalty points on his license and, due to existing points, is now barred from driving for six months. TME - At least he didn't let the dog drive. You're Number One! CLACKAMAS, Ore. - A Clackamas, Ore., man has filed a federal lawsuit over what he says is his First Amendment right to express himself by giving the finger to sheriff's deputies. Robert Ekas tells The Oregonian that he flipped off Clackamas County sheriff's deputies last year because he has a constitutional right to do it. Ekas also says he is protesting police violence. In his lawsuit, Ekas says that in July 2007 he flipped off a Clackamas deputy while driving, and the deputy gave him tickets for illegal lane change and improper display of license plates. He was acquitted on the citations. A month later, he gave the finger to another deputy, who detained him but wrote no tickets. Ekas alleges he was being harassed. An attorney for the county declined to comment on the lawsuit. TME - Taking the law into his own hands, one finger at a time.