Are You Ready for some Football?! Hope so, because football season is here! Most of the northeastern part of the U.S. loves Major League Baseball, specifically the Red Sox. But across the country football is King Kong and all other sports are like little spider monkeys. In a nationwide popularity contest, football is the hot cheerleader at the prom while the other sports are the nerdy computer guys with glasses and suspenders. Take the passion you see around here for the Sox and give it a Roger Clemens-sized dose of steroids and you start to get the feeling of how big football has become coast to coast. Guys (and many girls) of all ages become pigskin zombies on Sunday mornings. We get out of bed, throw on some clothes that may or not be ours, and plop our ever-growing keisters in front of the TV hours before game time. Knock out some chores on Sunday? Ha! The Florida everglades could be forming in your front yard, but unless the weeds are tall enough to disrupt the signal for the satellite TV, it just doesn’t matter on Sunday. Yes, the NFL rules the sports world. Maybe it’s the manliness of the sport. Maybe it’s because teams only play once a week. Maybe it’s the popularity of fantasy football. By the way, did you ever stop to consider that the sports and games themselves provide fantasy and escape from our real lives – so why do we need fantasy football? My fantasies usually involve members of the female Olympic beach volleyball team, not the backup running back from the Cardinals whom I’m playing on a hunch against the Rams. But I guess that’s just me: Millions of men and women play fantasy football, proving what a goliath the NFL has become. But the pro appeal of football is just part of the equation. In big regions of the country, Saturday means college football and nothing else. I have witnessed this firsthand in three different states. I have lived in Alabama where “Roll Tide” is the motto of life. Sure, you could cheer for Auburn, but the ghost of Paul “Bear” Bryant will haunt your dreams. I have also resided In Oklahoma where it’s “Boomer Sooner” or bust. OK State fans are outnumbered in Oklahoma as badly as college graduates are outnumbered at the state fair. And in Nebraska where the in-laws reside, it’s all “Go Big Red” 24/7. In the northeast, there are four seasons. In Nebraska, Oklahoma, Alabama and a couple dozen more states, there are just two: college football season, and college football recruiting season. On game day in these states, stores close. Weddings do not occur. An extra 50,000 people show up in Norman without tickets to join the 85,000 ticket holders to tailgate before, during and after the game. You can’t find a neighborhood where people don’t have TV’s hooked up on their lawns or in their garages as they host massive watch parties. The majority of cars drive around with college banners hanging from the windows. Heck, there are high schools that draw 30,000 fans a game and would give U Maine a run for its money. In Oklahoma, they don’t know two things exist: democrats and other sports. They think MLB is a kind of beer and NBA is something those educated folks get on the part of the campus away from the football stadium. And soccer? Say that word out loud and you better be able to outrun buckshot. Yet around here college football is an afterthought and while the NFL is popular, it does not rival the fandom of the Sox. But in most of the country, we have just entered the most wonderful time of the year, except for (maybe) the holiday season – and that’s only because it’s a chance to get gifts that are merchandise from your favorite football team. So bow to the pigskin, King of All Sports! (Sound trumpets.) And just be thankful there are no alligators that can take up residence in your badly overgrown front lawn.